Life, the universe and everything... and sometimes nothing at all... which is still all of those things.


deep shower thoughts…

  • Turning up music and/or the TV while being alone somewhere and showering to block out weird noises is probably stupid.. I feel like hearing the noises would be better for safety reasons
  • …except then what do I do if I hear noises
  • There’s nothing to arm myself with in the shower
  • Carrying a knife to the shower seems paranoid
  • Maybe I should keep a knife in the bathroom…
  • What is it about shower curtains that always makes you feel like there’s something horrible on the other side?
  • How come when people showing in movies get attacked by something the shower curtain behaves? Mine likes to attack me all by itself all the time, it would aid an attacker.. 
I got this for Easter last year.. Yes, I have managed to kill bamboo. I should not be allowed to have plants of any sort.

I got this for Easter last year.. Yes, I have managed to kill bamboo. I should not be allowed to have plants of any sort.

Day. Made.


I keep seeing this video of Jim Cummings reading Darth Vader’s lines as Winnie the Pooh pop up different places recently, so I figured I would reblog it from when I posted it before.

 When I went to make dinner last night I couldn’t help but notice that the kitchen had flooded. My pirate skull socks were very wet, as were the bottom 3 inches of my jeans. I started with the fridge and then checked the hot water tank. The puddle water was warm around the tank…so I turned the water off, grabbed a towel to soak up the water, and called the emergency maintenance number. I then proceeded to mop up, cram paper towels underneath the tank so that it wouldn’t flood the kitchen again as it drained, and had a bowl of cereal while waiting for the guy for a quick 15 minutes. 

He came in with just a role of paper towels and stopped in his tracks - the floor was dry, the water was off, and the leak was plugged. Apparently common sense isn’t like a thing normally… He then set up the hose to drain the tank outside, then he replaced the bulb on my patio light that’d been out for 2 years. 

During the tank draining process he also changed out the hall bulb (out for a week) and replaced the fill valve on the toilet (twice, because even the most simple job isn’t smooth and quick when it’s mine). 

I also finally learned the story behind the freaking crime scene I came home to on Sunday night. Apparently some guy was visiting his sister, who is a resident of the apartments but not in my building. He got tanked at the neighboring bar with her, and then he took her keys to go and sleep it off.. Well, he went to the wrong building (he got in because our front door is broken and doesn’t need a key currently) and after his sister’s keys didn’t work in my door, fell and busted his head open. Apparently he called her to rescue him while he lay there in a pool of his blood - sounds like an awesome night for them. 

2 and a half hours after I found the kitchen flooded I had a whole new hot water tank (and my last one was efficient but this one is amazing) and all the stupid broken stuff in my apartment was fixed. A rather productive evening if I do say so myself.

I’m glad no one was assaulted in my building, I have enough issues in this town - I do not need the safety of my apartment compromised. 

Now, I just need to have them replace the sub-flooring in my bathroom, it’s gotten to the point where even I can’t ignore it anymore.. 

..there are days I suspect James Patterson scripted my life…

I went and visited some friends this weekend a few hours away. I do the drive frequently so 2.5 hours is a drop in the bucket, I don’t even really consider it far.

We live in the Bible Belt, I like to read all of the church signs damning me to hell - and the additional awesome billboards really emphasize the message. They make the dull stretches of road more entertaining, especially the one that said “10 out of 10 people die, are you ready to meet Jesus?” which was just replaced with “You Can Choose the Sin, Not the Consequences.”

So, that type of stuff happens on the highway, not the interstate. There’s 2 interstates in this trip and neither of them are particularly exciting. Last night though, at about 8pm, I pulled on to the last one (my final stretch of driving) and noticed a car pull on behind me. With no lights on. At all. Not parking lights, daytime running lights, a dome light.. nothing. And it followed me, like the whole last 30 min I was driving. It made every move I did (and didn’t use its blinker either - but I swear I’m the only one that does in this state). I was weirded out but since I was stopping to pick someone else up on my way home I wasn’t overly concerned.

When we did finally get back to my apartment we stopped suddenly in my hallway. Right outside my door was what looked like a drying puddle of blood on the carpet - complete with keys and glasses in it. It was like 9:30pm, I have old people neighbors, I don’t like disturbing people - we stepped over it and went into my apartment. The women across that hall from me’s door was heard so I knew she was fine, but I did wonder about it all night long. And this morning everything was just as it had been at 9:30 last night.

I mentioned it (and the car, because seriously what the fuck was that about) to some coworkers and I’d decided I was going to check with the rental office on my lunch break just to make sure that A) They knew about the spot and B) Did something happen this weekend? Well, they just called me. Apparently the woman across the hall got worried it was my keys and blood and had them do a welfare check on me - it’s a damn good thing I answered my phone. (I can only imagine what would happen if I’d just ignored the call… the cops would be involved for sure.)

So, the office is investigating and said they’d let me know what they found out. I don’t even know what to think about all of this. I mean last week was April Fools but seeing that spot on the carpet felt like we were being pranked.. except I have old people neighbors that wouldn’t do that to anyone.

Film at 11.. My life is so weird sometimes. I hope no one was hurt and this is all just a fucked up, um, something that isn’t terrible.

…and I still want to know what the fuck was up with that car…

Happy Table Top Day! Playing a ridiculously awesome round of Therapy: The Game (with slightly modified rules). I lost horribly.. wonder what that says about me….

Happy Table Top Day! Playing a ridiculously awesome round of Therapy: The Game (with slightly modified rules). I lost horribly.. wonder what that says about me….

Pandora has now played 3 wedding ads in the 30 minutes I’ve been streaming from it. They’ve all been New England places, I assume this is because of the zip code I used for my email address.

What I want to know is why all of this wedding crap.. I mean I had to buy an overpriced bridesmaid dress on Monday but that A) In no way involved my email address or the only computer I use Pandora on; and B) In no way means I need infornation on rings I would never wear. In the many years I’ve had my Pandora account I can’t recall a single wedding ad before; taxes, cars, amusement parks, restaurants, other musical artists, movies, TV shows - that’s the norm.

I suppose this was inevitable, maybe it mined my age data from my account as well and decided that I needed to get the matrimony show on the road… If I had that type of future plan (I kinda want to never marry, ever) I’d actually be less likely to use any place with annoying ads on websites like this. Advertising failure on their part for sure..

Of course, Pandora followed up the ad with “Heaven is a Place on Earth,” “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” “Take On Me,” and “You’re the Inspiration” before the next ad played… They apparently have love on the brain - sucks for them.